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  • Pesadillas que nunca tuve

    • Blogalia

    ¡...Me pongo rebullente!

    Hubo un tiempo en que la llegada del verano venía marcada por los signos meteorológicos; a los que luego se le puso atuendo de fiesta, incluso de santo Juan. Más tarde fueron los grandes almacenes los que tenían la amabilidad de decirnos cuándo apretaban las calores. Ahora sólo necesitamos poner la radio y esperar a que suenen “las primas”. No las suyas ni las mías, que tienen el sentido del ridículo bien puesto y jamás se le ocurrirían atentar contra los oídos de la gente de a pie a “cancionazos”, del verano.

    Ni King África, ni George Dann, ni siquiera aquellos publicistas imaginativos tenían la surrealista y casposa idea de desafinar el ripio a su máxima expresión, de encajar las estrofas no ya a base de calzador, sino directamente a mamporro limpio. La que promete ser uno de los sones más repetidos en este verano, “Bambú”, ha conseguido lo que ninguna otra: inaugurar una nueva vertiente que llamaría “surrealismo pachanguero”. Permítanme analizar la presunta canción y les cuento mis razones. Eso sí, poco a poco, que estos golpes hay que digerirlos con cuidado:

    BAMBÚ!
    BAMBÚ!
    TATA, TARACATA, TATA, TARACATA

    (El comienzo promete, parece un ataque de fuego conjunto de mortero y ametralladora)

    Donde están las chicas que les gustan bailar, donde están los chicos que les gustan basilar, donde está la gente que les gustan cantar así que dame que dame
    BAMBÚ BAMBÚ!

    (¡Ojo! Ésta es toda la referencia que hace a la exótica caña)

    Me gusta ese moreno cuando mueve su trasero pa? lante y pa? tras, asi que mueve que mueve, muevelo muevelo!, muevelo muevelo!

    (Picarón, hasta ahora nada que no hayamos escuchado antes en el bodriamen veraniego)

    Con el salto del canguro moviendo el culo
    Con la pata de elefante nos vamos pa lante
    Con el salto de la rana nos vamos pa tras
    Con el meneo de la serpiente yo me pongo rebullente.
    Dame que dame, bambú bambú.

    (Mira que mueve mal el culo un canguro, pero el ripio lo merece. Como no hay bicho que rime ni con pecho, ni tetas, ni cintura, pues supongo que el letrista recurrió al sufrido “palante” y “patrás”. Del elefante sólo la pata avanza, pero una rana acróbata que salte hacia atrás sólo se me antoja posible después de una – a mi entender grande – ingesta de sustancias alucinógenas. Sin embargo la estrella es la serpiente, que pone a la chica rebullente. ¡Poesía eres tú, baby!)

    Yo soy la pelirroja la mas peligrosa cuando veo ese moreno yo me pongo temblosa.
    Yo soy la morena, la que da candela, me gustan tos los chicos que están en la hoguera.
    Yo soy la castaña, la que da mas caña, cuando veo ese chaval me pongo a bacilar.
    Pues yo soy la rubia la mas chula me gusta ese gitano cuando mueve su cintura (lerelerelé, bambú!)

    (¡Vaya peligrosa más chunga! Se pone a temblar en cuanto ve al maromo en cuestión. Para mí que el peligro se lo lleva la morena, que es la que utiliza la pira en su Kamasutra particular. La castaña lo tenía fácil, no así la rubia, que sólo rima con nutria y la estrofa de animales ya ha acabado. Eso sí, un bambú más, con su lerelé, que estamos en verano)

    Me gusta ese bombón que es de Castellón con el salto del canguro moviendo el culo.
    Me gusta ese moreno cuando mueve su cuerpo con la pata de elefante nos vamos pa lante.
    Me gusta ese chaval cuando baila el rap con el salto de la rana nos vamos pa tras.
    Me gusta ese chico cuando baila en la disco con el meneo de la serpiente yo me pongo rebullente.

    (Si en vez de levantino el chaval fuera de Bollullos... ¿diría que es un capullo? Eso sí, es la única que rima con un poco de dignidad entre tanta asonancia, se pongan como se pongan el chaval, el chico y el moreno.)

    Asi que mueve, que dale, que toma, ¡salsa!

    (La salsa será para poder tragar tanto bambú, supongo)

    Donde están las chicas que les gustan bailar (¡salsa!), donde están los chicos que les gustan bacilar(¡salsa!), donde está la gente que les gustan cantar(¡salsa!) así que dame que dame
    BAMBÚ BAMBÚ!

    Tata, taracata, tata, taracata, tata, taracata, tata, taracata.
    BAMBÚ!
    BAMBÚ!
    Tata, taracata, tata, taracata.

    Donde están las chicas que les gustan bailar, donde están los chicos que les gustan basilar, donde está la gente que les gustan cantar así que dame que dame
    BAMBÚ BAMBÚ!

    (¡Todo el mundo a cubierto, vuelven las ametralladoras y tiran a dar!)

    Me gusta ese moreno cuando mueve su trasero pa? lante y pa? tras, asi que mueve que mueve, muevelo muevelo!, muevelo muevelo!
    Con el salto del canguro moviendo el culo.
    Con la pata de elefante nos vamos pa lante.
    Con el salto de la rana nos vamos pa tras.
    Con el meneo de la serpiente yo me pongo rebullente.
    Dame que dame, bambú bambú.

    (la versión corta del estribillo. Es imposible, a esta altura, que nadie quede sentado: ¡todos rebullentes a la pista!)

    Yo soy la pelirroja la mas peligrosa.
    Yo soy la morena la que da candela
    Yo soy la castaña la que da mas caña
    Pues yo soy la rubia la mas chula.

    (Por mucho que se empeñe la pelirroja, la que me da miedo es la pirómana)

    Me gusta ese bombón que es de Castellón con el salto del canguro moviendo el culo.
    Me gusta ese moreno cuando mueve su cuerpo con la pata de elefante nos vamos pa lante.
    Me gusta ese chaval cuando baila el rap con el salto de la rana nos vamos pa tras.
    Me gusta ese chico cuando baila en la disco con el meneo de la serpiente yo me pongo rebullente. ¡BAMBÚ!

    Ay con el mordisco del ratón nos ponemos a flotar. Dame que dame bambú bambú.

    (Yo pensaba que estaban flotando desde cuando la primera rana, pero estos ratoncitos – nunca los había visto – producen un efecto que es la caña, la de la castaña)

    ¡¡ BAMBÚ !!

    (Hombre, ¡cómo iba a terminar! Con un poquito de salsa de la anterior, por supuesto).

    Con este exhaustivo análisis me atrevo a declarar que “Las Primas” son como el Magritte de la Caspa, el Kandinsky de lo patético, el Dalí del frikismo. Atrás queda ese Velázquez de George Dann y ese Goya de King África. Macarena nunca le habría puesto los cuernos a su novio Vitorino si no hubiera rimado con “dos amigos”, ni el camaleón cambiaría su color si no tuviera “ocasión”, pero a partir de ahora cualquier personaje de una canción del verano tiene derecho a hacer lo que le de la gana sin las ataduras de las rimas. ¡Con la canción del verano los oídos me tapo con las manos!

    2004-06-25 01:00 | Categoría: | 73 Comentarios | Enlace

    Referencias (TrackBacks)

    URL de trackback de esta historia http://peaton.blogalia.com//trackbacks/19777

    Comentarios

    1
    De: Sebas Fecha: 2006-05-07 03:10

    ¡ ACERTADISIMO TIO !. Yo pienso todo eso desde la primera vez que escuché la puta cancion. Y como la machacaban en Tele Taxi Tv (BCN), aberrante. Parece mentira que aun nadie le haya hecho una critica que esté a la altura merecida. Te felicito, tus palabras muestran sabiduria.



    2
    De: Desidia Fecha: 2007-08-11 01:52

    Cielo santo!!!
    Como osas tu! pobre mortal! Faltar al respeto de esta forma a estas Diosas levantinas dignas del mismisimo monte olimpo!. Donde sin duda moran ahora despues de su muerte (artistica, por supuesto). Divas de una sola canción, diosas de un solo verso.

    Enhorabuena por tu critica, francamente fántastica.

    Aprovecho de paso para esponer mi propia versión que hicimos un amigo y yo de esta fantastica cancion que aunque criticada nos has dado tan buenos momentos

    ahi va!

    " yo soy la morena la que da mas pena,
    yo soy la castaña menuda prataña,
    yo soy la pelijorra la más horrorosa
    y soy la rubia la mas chuuuunga" (esta es dificil de superar)



    3
    De: e Fecha: 2007-11-27 19:45

    h


    4
    De: carlos Fecha: 2009-07-20 16:48

    anda tio mes a decir q tu no has bailado ese tema no seas tan chaval y madura hijo


    5
    De: carlos Fecha: 2009-07-20 16:55

    debes de ser algun gay arrepentido hijo no la puedes bailaarr???? jua jua


    6
    De: lola Fecha: 2012-09-06 18:01

    Pero como se llama la cancion ???


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